The blame for Mallory’s loss are in fact on the school bully(ies) - her 4 female classmates, not their parents, not the school district, not the administrators and not the staff. The bullies are the ones to be punished, but how? They didn’t know Mallory would take her own life, and now they will have to live forever knowing it was them that pushed Mallory off the cliff to her death. My understanding is that this is currently in the court system and everyone is pointing every-which-way except at the four that caused it. No matter what happens in the courts, nothing will bring Mallory Grossman back. R.I.P.
I am writing this article because I am sick and tired of watching young lives lost due to bullying. Bullying in one shape or form has always been a problem in history. Children, adults, organizations, countries, religions, etc. It doesn't matter. Everyone can be a victim of bullying.
The ONLY solution to stop bullying has been known for eons. It’s always been to turn the table on them. The question now is, how do we turn the table on bullies?
For Children: Build their confidence. Empower them. Build a non-quitting spirit. Teach them to be leaders. Teach them self control. Teach them how To defend themselves (self defense), both verbally and physically. When they have reached these accomplishments, bullying will no longer be the problem. They will be able to stand up to the best of them.
Now here is something to think about. If you leave out the self defense piece, will it still work? Maybe, or maybe not. You see, self defense is the great equalizer. It keeps the links connected together. It’s an insurance policy if you need it to be.
As I stated self defense has always been the great equalizer, but things started changing in the 1960’s. The P.C. (R4) revolution has started. Funny thing about political correctness, though. I bet many of you don’t know is that it’s Cultural Marxism. Let that sink in. This brought us, "Let’s not hurt anyone feelings, the participation trophies, and the current, I’m offended about everything."
P.C. – is constantly trying to re-invent the wheel and Bullying one of the wheels it’s working on and it brought you:
Zero Tolerance – Bully maybe gets punished, victim get’s punished 2 to 3 times. The first time iswhen Bully hurts him, second time when school suspends him and again when Bully gives him a bigger beating than the first time.
Funny Thing. I have a martial arts school, and I have many students that their parents are teachers and principals, so I ask them, "Why do you want to put them into martial arts?" Each one said pretty much the same thing: “Because I don’t want anyone touching my child, if they do I don’t want them remembering anything after that!” I ask about Zero Tolerance, to which they always respond, "I’ll take care of that when it happens."
Schools to Fines (R2 & 3) – every time child is bullied, the bullies parents are fined a dollar amount. Each occurrence increases fine. I also heard there might be possible jail time for a parent if it continues.. I couldn’t find anything on that to back up this comment, but I do remember hearing it. This won’t work either because the first time when bullying happens, the parents get fined, the second time a larger fine. Nothing has stopped the bully. You've just made him madder because now he's in trouble at home. So when the third time it happens, they’ll give a worse beating than the previous times combined.
Bullies will still bully no matter what, unless he's STOPPED IN HIS TRACKS.
Confidence. Empower them. Build a non-quitting spirit. Teach them to be leaders. Teach them self control. Teach them how To defend themselves (self defense), both verbally and physically.
How do you find one?
RULE #1 - DO NOT, DO NOT SIGN ANY LONG TERM AGREEMENTS THAT YOU CAN NOT GET OUT OF OR IF THERE IS A PENALTY. If feel you’re being pressured walk out, don’t look back.
RULE #2 – Ask if this is sport karate/martial arts or self defense. If you see gymnastics going on, time to leave. You’re there for self defense – not gymnastics..
RULE #3 - TRY TO GET A 1 MONTH TRIAL - so you can make and educated decision. If they don’t give you a trial, just walk out. Mom/Dad/Guardian – someone must sit through each class as well as try to catch some of the previous and next class.
What do you look for: Look for signs of confidence, how your child reacts, is he/she made to feel at home, is he/she having a good time, etc. Keep your eyes open for this:
- 30 to 60 plus belts.
- Special requirements after you advance – you need to buy this and that
- Advancement without knowing anything
- Everything is handed to them
- Talk to the Parents that are there, they’ll tell you the truth. You don't like the answer - Turn and run.
Not all schools are the same! Do your homework, your child is worth it.
I'm sorry this was so long. I'm just sick and tired of seeing this. BULLIES MUST BE STOPPED THE ONLY WAY THEY UNDERSTAND.
I’m a Bully Survivor
At the age of 7/8 – I had to walk about 1/3 of a mile to school. Both my parents had to work. My dad actually had 2 jobs. Anyway, I had two ways to go, straight or I walked down the hill next to the projects. I was told not to go that way. These 2 bullies (around 10 or 11, I guess) waited for me everyday on the same corner. They beat my ass and took what little change and food I had for 4 months. I kept ducking from my dad so he didn’t see my bruises or my face. One day I had enough and I talked to my dad. He told me I had to fight back, to stop them. I told him I didn’t know how. He said, "Sure you do," in broken English. "You know we always watch John Wayne, do what he do, right hand left hand, do not stop until they don’t get up."
I was still scared, so I went to school going down the hill next to the projects it worked great for a few weeks to they found me. Then I had no more options and fought back, I got my ass handed to me, but I also kicked some ass as well. They never bothered me again. But I did meet up with them again later in life, for paybacks.
R1 - https://patch.com/new-jersey/parsippany/mallory-grossmans-family-suing-rockaway-schools-over-bullying-lead-suicide
R2 - http://www.parenting.com/news-break/parents-face-fines-kids-repeated-bullying-behavior
R3 - http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/05/04/parents-bullies-face-fines-in-wisconsin-school-district.html
R4 - Political Correctness is cultural Marxism http://www.theamericanconservative.com/2009/11/19/the-roots-of-political-correctness/
Sil Crino is the headmaster of Crino's Martial Arts in Stony Brook, New York. He is a 5th Dan in Kempo Jutsu under Professor Kimo Ferreira, as well as a 1st Dan in Kempo Jiu Jitsu. He is a certified F.A.S.T. Official Gladiator, Adult Defense Level 1 Instructor and Stop Bullies F.A.S.T. Instructor. For more information about Sil Crino, please visit his school website by clicking here.